Man..

I smile for world
Even though I cry inside
For they will say being a man
I must maintain pride
But will they understand?
How much pain I've to bear
To carry a fake smile
And hide the tear
They won't, because they don't care
But they will once I make a mistake
As if world been turned upside down
And some eternal  vow I have break
They will correct you,
Judge you, and even suggest
And pass a judgement
As if your existence is jest
Such a is world,
Being a man here is difficult
Every step you are judged
Even being without fault
And they say being woman is hard
Just live in man shoe
You'll understand the harsh reality
What is false and what is true

Utopia

Where shall I find my utopia,
In an island created from piles of dead?
Or city built by massacring
Poor and oppressed by blade...

What shall be I served there,
Deliquescing cuisines, exquisite meals?
From foods snatched from starved,
And mercilessly looted from mills...

Oh what shall I be drinking,
The elixir of immortality?
Extracted from blood of people
Those dying from ours brutality...

How will I be entertained,
From circus performed by artist?
Those separated from their loved ones
And left at mercy of human disguised beast...

If so I don't want such utopia
For I am satisfied in my own bed,
No receiving curse, No worrying
For utopia created from plies of dead
For utopia created from plies of dead
For utopia created from plies of dead

MODERN LOVE

Where it started is a mystery

But what it does is history

This is so call life and death

Maker of hope destroyer of faith

we knew it as love and vie for it

But what we forget is its all greed

Of a boy for girl and girl for boy

Who uses each other as toy

It ends a friendship of ages

Destroy the life time earned images

Takes all whatever you have in a swift

And give pain as a complementary gift

One do suicide,one kills other, one goes mad

So what say love is good or bad?

It takes all the money and our time

Committing in love now had become crime

So my friend be aware

Otherwise you will call it unfair

And regret your whole life crying

And will remember ,y advice while dying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Dark side of Love

Thinking about the poetry

I come across the history

of many betrayal story

more of sadness than of glory

cause it is proven fact

the man who swiftly act

himself deeply in love pact

can't ever in life react

for his heart will be gone

his life will be done

after he realizes he had been con

nothing will left except to mourn

the mistake had had committed

the situation he had created

as no one will be there to aid

for this he himself had made

so if you don't want to be mad

made your life pathetic and bad

and spent your life being sad

just shun the love you will be glad

When you ought to do things


Things that worlds hate


You find yourself


surrounded by 


hate and severe pain

that what you get when

you tries to revolutionize the world

erasing the superstation

forming new world

that's what yours destination

when you ought to do things

things that worlds hate

but yours heart loves

from eternity

yourself and yours policy

that what you get when

you tries to revolutionize the world

erasing the superstation

forming the new world

that's what yours destination

when you ought to do things

things that worlds hate..................

JOY

The feeling of joy cannot be expressed in any language existing in this world. But what is most overwhelming is that it can be demonstrate  to take hell out of other(Read: Making Joke of other). This is not my personal experience but a universal validity. If you really insist in knowing my personal experience about it I would  like to describe one such instance. What really happen that time was really a humors. I was in academical competition with one of my class mate. Who was over confident about his capability. Since i was new student rest of class were quiet unknown to my ability(To be Frank I was topper.....) and same was in case with this mate. There was a school test going while I was admitted and my luck or you may call gods grace the first day I attend the school same day was math test(Known as monster test ) and to yours amusement I was best at math. And my dear mate assume himself to be greatest mathematician. As everyone prepare for test I was too preparing then I heard someone call me.

"Excuse me"

"Yes"-I replied instantly.

So you the new boy, giving math test? He asked rudely.

 "Yes" I replied abruptly(with some arrogance.)

"I am sure you are not aware with the subject so I advice or rather ask you to avoid test on the basis of new student"  He said as if he was my master and I his salve.

"Why are you advising me? Do I know you?" I asked rather harshly.

""No and I don't want you to know me as well and I write it in my name you definitely gonna fail" He went away shrieking.

I was confused and my mind was burning with anger. I wanted to teach this bullshit a lesson so as I stand to go towards him to teach him a lesson someone held me back. I look back to see cheerful face that vanished all my anger. 

"Don't react towards his words he is such a bastard " He advise me.

And to say you all he was same who become my best buddy  through out my academic period.

                         I ignore my brilliant mate(Same Who I was About To Hit) and started to think about test only. Teacher came for test and test started. As I have habit of never watching away while watching I don't give a dam but ya the thought to prove that arrogant friend wrong consistently revolve in my mind.

                                 ----------- 2 HOURS LATER-------------

 

After the test was ended everyone gather outside. The reaction was most surprising and most humors. Everyone were talking about the paper being unsolvable and toughest to date. There nothing more happen except my bonding with other buddies.

                                                          NEXT DAY 

Next day our third period was of maths. before that period I learn much about teacher, school and other fact that I can't describe here(You don't really know what we talk in all boys school). But the most relevant thing to this story that I learn was about my sweet rival till my secondary level(Whom I always defeated in each and ever test and exam cause of gods grace and bit of hard work.) was almost everyone in class hate him because of his attitude that he was genius as well as his I-Don't-Help-Anyone behavior. So what all pray was someone may come and give him taste of earth. And till then nobody believe in me to give him a competition as well. 

 

                   Then enter our maths teacher as of every maths teacher with angry-young-man look. He sat in desk and started to announce the result of test. Roll no.1 Fail, Roll no.2 fail............. till turn of my genius friend whose roll no was 33 (As we were allotted Roll numbers according to admission not ranking wise ) till then 26 out of 32 were failed. when his turn came teacher as everyone expectation doesn't even made clap his marks though he secure 40/50 which was almost twice the marks of second highest scorer. He take the sheet from sir and was walking back as if he had won world war 3. Everyone were asking his numbers as if he had some secret code to treasure and would tell you if you ask only. Then the same thing repeated  failing stories and Mr. Confidence laugh on others. 

              Then come turn of my buddy just before my roll number. He was passed just by whiskers. I was happy but was also tensed as next was my turn. What happen next is below that am writing in dialogue .

Sir-Who is Roll no.47?

Me-Sir me.

Sir-Boy come here.

I rose and started to walk towards sir then I heard a voice of my great rival.

"See i had said, You gonna fail and now take the punishment "

Ignoring him i went towards sir. Those 30 seconds were my most tensed second in school. those 30 second nothing come out of my mind. I just went towards sir. He turn me towards class and say loudly.

Sir-Everyone carefully see this guy he is the one who got 50 out of 50............

Everyone were shocked including me. As I expected to score good but not full. After coming out of their shock everyone clap out of their guts for two reason

i) I had made their pray come true(Read above)

ii) I had score that what no one else had thought of.

After some more lecture as every teacher would give as his student had score out of his expectation I went back to my seat. In between i saw my dear friend-less-rival-more buddy just waiting to cry. That what I was talking in starting in this story. After that incidence  nobody in my class saw that before-my-arrival attitude in my rival. He totally kept quiet before we parted in stream later.(No, Not because of same but because he never really get chance to take his revenge.) What I wanted to say may not be taken in false way that I wanted to prove myself great or anyone low but that one should not over estimate oneself. 

                      That day I realized why joy cannot be expressed in linguistic term but can give you such a pleasure that it will remain through out your life. And your joy may be sadness for someone who hates you for no reason(Read my dear rival.) And that joy may give you much more pleasure if you prove someone false statement false with your deed. JUST EXPERIENCE IT ONE YOU WILL COME TO KNOW WHAT I MEANT...............

You and me in love

Your love ignite fire in me
To love passionately thee
With no strings of betray
But surety for never lasting stay
Even crossing the might of mortal day.........

We shall rewrote history
Prominently solving together a mystery
love and its unrealistic illness
By providing us as an exemplary case
A feeling of love is not a mess.....

If almighty shower us his grace
And world relieve us from its stress
Our souls will unite, despite all those who defy
Defy our union based on their unsuccessful try
With cheer in heart and eyes full of cry.......

That's what I want from this useless life
Mere silence and you as my wife
No aim rose before this eyes except these
For which I could even set my life on lease
Please O graceful almighty do made us unite please.........

CHOLE BATURE MEMORY

Few years back whenever i used to roam in gullies of West Patel Nagar market I used to taste the delicious CHOLE BHATURE of the area. Cheap, tasty, and delicious item this bhature would always tempt me towards it. I don't exact remember the times but ya i can say that its 2-3 years ago the price of this tasty item was around Rs10. Whenever i used to go to West Patel Nagar i regularly visit this stall. Regular interaction among us (Between stall owner and me) has created a human bond between us. Since i used to be his frequent costumer he used to serve me before everyone no matter how much those hungry people would scream out of their body for a Bhature. This process continue for around year. Then i used to be busy for different  work so couldn't visit the stall but still i used to dream about those mouth watering Bhatures now and then . After long time i couldn't hold away from it so I decided to give a visit. Those were time when my pocket were most of the time empty (Don't get confused that i have plenty of money now still my pocket are empty but now some how i get money) but that day i had some how I have Rs.15 in my pocket for Chole Bhature and Sikanji a drink. Passing through same street which some time ago used to be my junction made my heart fill will strange feeling. Glancing the crowded market where a rickshaw puller is abused by some spoiled kid, a typical heavy weight aunt bargaining with poor vendor and some middle aged uncles drinking some unknown brand is a regular sight in street of capital. Ignoring these i move on to my stall. When I reach the stall First think that take me aback was there were no hungry crowds that used to be here before next the stall owner didn't recognise me. This incident teach me one thing a relation between seller and costumer is till there is a transaction taking place then there develops a unfamiliarity once the transaction ended. But I was not there to develop relation but to satisfy my hungry stomach and ever hungry heart.I order a plate of Chole Bature and take a smell of it there is same smell same elegance and same standard as of before I enjoy it with all my heart till it finished. Then I went to counter pay Rs.10 and started to walk when I heard someone yelling at me when I turned back it was the stall owner.
"Yes" I said.
"Where's money?" He asked.
"I just paid you" i replied with some attitude.
"Its just the half' he said.
Then i come to reasons for all those incident its rise in the price which had lead to fall in demand(Being commerce student I could count on that) and his indifferent attitude was because after price rise no one become faithful to him.
But now real problem was money . I don't have enough money to pay him. He says now price of Chole Bhature is Rs.20 and all I have was Rs.15.
 I asked him"I have only Rs.15 with me can i pay after sometime?  tomorrow?"  I thought being regular customer he would agree but to my utter surprise what he said till now echo in my ears.
"You bastard poor if you don't have money why the hell you come to eat?"
"Hey mind your language, I just forget to bring my money and you don't say a word about me" I said thundering with anger.
"First pay and do whatever you want to otherwise I know how to teach a lesson for you filthy fellow"
I was totally confused and obviously it take hell out of me. I was totally confused what to do. I was praying for god to give me some alternative to tackle this problem. Just then I heard a voice>
"Hey Dinesh Bhai What are you doing here? Having Chole bhature alone?" Someone say behind me.
When i look back it was most elegant situation as he was my buddy Rahul. I explained him the situation and he immediately pay the amount and also teach him warn him not to do this type of talking again. I don't  wanted to talk with that man again. We, me and rahul move to our respective house not before I thanked Him thousand time in our way home. But he only said what i still remember
"TRUE FRIEND ALWAYS HELP EACH OTHER IN TIMES OF DIFFICULTY"
        As i lay comfortably in my cozy bed I think about the evening episode. After thinking for it till midnight I come to conclusion that There's no relation other than your relative(If they are good) and friends other all relations are not relation but contacts arise with the time and fade with the time. All we need to do with these contacts is use them well enough and end the relations as this type of relations cannot go on for long.
 Also what I learn is that I already heard from adults i.e WHENEVER YOU GO OUTSIDE DO LOADED YOURSELF WITH PLENTY OF MONEY CAUSE NOBODY KNOWS WHAT MAY OCCUR IN THIS MONETARY WORLD..............  

I wonder how the system of world work? As per my thoughts they are controlled by God but is it really what everyone thought? No i don't think so because not everyone are tangled in inner belief of gods. I on other hand always been die hard believer of god but i only pray for them when i am in difficulty or in gay mood. Why i never pray for them consistently is what i also not able to answer myself. but yes i had pray them for thousand time to provide me way for something, to give direction for something for one thing or other thing i always remember god but not on regular basis. My mother regularly pray for god as she believe god is what shaping her life and to have better life she need to devote herself to god. Thought i love god cause many time he listen my pray but what i not love about him is he also ignore my pray most of the time. There's a universal feeling that god is listening to everyone and only act when it's right time. Hope what all believe is true and always god do right for he never goes wrong.........................

WORLD FOR ME

strange is the ritual of world

which could made sane an insane

destroying deep down his hope

filling his heart with pain

drenched in drops of tear

 raged with never vanishing fear

i walk a lonely road deprived of companion

stripped of glory of champion 

chanting the ill of these world's ritual

its heart break and its cruel

in drizzling gloomy day

on boulevard of broken dream

with air surrounded with utter silence 

And my heart making a scream

about those loss i made

Cause of the mean world

shattering dreams of many like me

which had aged and become old